To the Editor:
Re “How to Party (Without Regrets)” (Sunday Styles, June 23):
If I were to take most of the advice in this article, I might actually leave a party with many regrets.
The art of gathering should be focused on being together (as you are, without a rigid set of prescriptive rules to follow) and forging genuine connections. In a world with a never-ending list of to-dos, I feel grateful most days just to break bread with those I love, however they may like to dress or however early they may need to leave (e.g., to relieve a sitter, to go on call for night shift at a hospital).
In order to find your kindred spirits, you do not need a guide on how to be performative and how to assimilate in order to “fit in.”
I was particularly rankled by Rebecca Gardner’s contribution: “Please don’t ask people to take off their shoes when entering your apartment. It’s rude.”
As an Asian American woman who owns an interior goods business, I open my home regularly for friends and family — and to host events for the community.
Have you seen the streets of New York City? I certainly don’t want anyone traipsing in with snow, dirt or God knows what else got stuck to their soles. It is rude to offer culturally insensitive advice.
America is a diverse place, and there isn’t just one way to throw a good party in this country.
Michelle Pham
New York
To the Editor:
No! No! No! Never ever tell a host what you will bring. It’s not your party. Always ask what you can bring to help out the host, who has a specific idea of what his or her party is all about and can tell guests what they can contribute.
I’ve hosted a gazillion parties and always appreciate people who ask what they can bring. Someone who tells me what they will bring is being presumptuous and not respecting my role as a host.
Rik Kristiansson
Water Mill, N.Y.
To the Editor:
Absolutely exhausting and utterly amusing. The posturing; the “rules”; the phoniness; the anxiety clearly experienced by both host and guest. Geez. Relax, everyone. It’s just a party.
Fran Miller
Lafayette, Calif.
Giuliani and Trump
To the Editor:
Re “State Appellate Court Rules to Disbar Giuliani From Practicing Law in New York” (news article, July 3):
Rudolph Giuliani can no longer practice law in New York because the court found that he told numerous lies that were “designed to create distrust in the elective system of our country in the minds of the citizens and to destroy their confidence in the legitimacy of our government.”
Mr. Giuliani cannot practice law in New York, but Donald Trump can become president.
Doris Fenig
Floral Park, N.Y.
Occupational Therapy for Older New Yorkers
To the Editor:
Re “Why More Older New Yorkers Are Ending Up in Homeless Shelters” (news article, June 29):
As the leader of one of the largest social services providers in New York City, I am keenly aware of the aging population in our city’s shelters. Expanding access to affordable and supportive housing for our older neighbors is critical — but we must go further.
Occupational therapy helps people strengthen skills for daily living, and for older adults in particular, these services ensure that they can age in place with dignity.
The occupational therapists in our shelter and supportive housing programs help older adults get to medical appointments, engage in rich socialization opportunities, connect to community resources and so much more.
With these supports, we’ve seen reductions in unnecessary hospitalizations and nursing home placements, as well as improved physical and mental well-being among our older residents. Every older adult housing program in the city should incorporate robust occupational therapy services.
Eric Rosenbaum
New York
The writer is president and C.E.O. of Project Renewal.
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